How Long Should One Wait to Get a New Pet After an Old Pet Passes On?
80Sometimes it Feels Good to Give
There is No Set Answer
If you've ever lost a beloved pet you have probably come to realize that there is no set time in the mourning process. Others who usually aren't pet owners may chastise you for your grief: "Just go out and get another pet, for goodness sakes!" But is this really the way to mourn the loss of your furry family member?
Obviously every one is different, or facing different circumstances. Sometimes children make the impassioned heart-tugging plea, "Couldn't we just *look*,?" while others may feel something is lacking in their life since a pet has passed on, that they miss the comfort and joy of having a faithful companion at one's side. Others may need to add a new pet for a surviving pet who isn't used to being alone.
I think the most important aspect in trying to find a new pet after another has passed on is that you understand you are not replacing your previous pet. This is very important because if you come into owning a new pet with the attitude that they're replacing another pet that has passed on three things can possibly happen. 1. The new pet will be consistently compared to the old pet and you'll lose a lot of the joy involved in the unique experience that is each animal... 2. These expectations can cause you to resent your new pet, which is hardly fair! 3. Animals are very receptive to our emotional states and will know if they are really being appreciated for who they are, an unappreciated animal is likely to lash out or behave poorly.
If children are the concern I mentioned, talk to them about how they feel. They are sure to be hurting and missing the part of your family that has passed on as well. If you cannot say yes, yet, let them know just that. Tell them that you are too hurt right now to buy or adopt another pet, but in the future it is a definite possibility.
If you feel that you need a pet around for companionship, depending on your age and the age of other pets in the house, consider the possibility of adopting a young kitten or puppy. Having a young animal to train can help increase your joy in a time of such sorrow. Just make sure you are able to appreciate and love your new pet for the unique individual s/he is.
If the reason you're looking into getting a new cat, dog, or other animal is to keep another pet company consider the age of your surviving pet. A new puppy or kitten may be absolutely adorable to you, but older pets will generally find such young playmates to be a terrible nuisance. (Though, I have heard some rather sweet stories about older pets taking on a care taking role towards young arrivals.) On the whole, though, I think it's better to keep pets ages relatively close together, they'll generally have the same tolerances and energy levels. Remember, there are *always* many wonderful older pets out there available for adoption.
In essence, you need to do what feels right for you and your family. I feel awful for people when they've lost a pet, many don't take it as seriously as it should be, it's a shame. Make sure you're allowing yourself the amount of time *you* need to grieve and then go back out there and find an animal to share your love and life with. Life is too short not to allow ourselves happiness! The best thing, all around, in my opinion though is to adopt animals. There are so many out there in need of a loving home that it seems wrong to me to go to a pet store and buy an animal. (Unless there are medical considerations involved, of course.) You'll feel it when you know you're ready to get a new pet, no one can make that decision for you other than yourself.
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Aw, patspnn, I'm *so* sorry to hear that! It's always so hard when we lose a pet that hasn't even begun it's journey yet. My condolences.
Thank you i lost the puppy 8 years ago but now i feel kind a apprehensive because my dogs are getting older but i cried for weeks...i still cry when i think of little lionel
At least as long as it takes for a good looking rich widow to latch onto a new boy friend??
Awww... It's hard when your pets start getting on in age. Just enjoy the time you have with them, let them know they're loved... I still miss my kitty that I had to give up years ago. She was a fantastic pet. She'd pee on my (now ex) husband's stuff whenever he was mean to me.
Thank you for answering my request :-)
that older cat photo looks like my pet that died...
Oh, Stacie L, I'm so sorry! I thought about that, too, when I was posting the pics up, thanks for making the request, one of the other hubbers who answered it as well had links up for support groups, (which honestly, I didn't think of,) but I hope they'll be of some help! I'm really sorry if I caused painful rememberances for you, it's always so hard when you lose a member of the family. Just remember to give it some time, listen to your heart and ADOPT! (I love pushing pet adoption, sorry.)
This hub really rang true for me. My family had a cat that was already part of the family when I was born, and she died when I was a senior in high school. It was especially tough because I had never known life without her. We waited approximately 7 months before going to a humane society "to just look", like you said! Well, after "just looking" we came home with 2 baby girl kitties.
The part you wrote about the new pet not replacing the old one is very true. Despite knowing that the girls were not the same as my old cat, I still expected them to heal the heart wound that was left by my cat's death. Unfortunately, just like a human, one is not interchangeable for another. It took a long time to heal. I love my new girls, and I will always love my old girl. Our hearts are big enough to love them all.
ProfoundPuns: Wow... I can't imagine losing a pet, a part of my family after so many years. I appreciate you reading and taking the time to comment, I know my boyfriend has been feeling the loss of his cat very deeply and it's been almost a year that he's passed on. Getting a new cat, (or any animal,) just isn't an option for us anymore, since I'm allergic to cats & we're working towards having a pet-free household. (He has another cat who is getting on in years.) I'm so happy you guys went to the humane shelter to find your new babies, it really warms my heart to see people being responsible in their pet ownership. Yes, pets are not interchangeable, but like you said, we have enough love in our hearts to give to all of them. Some part of us will always miss our lost loved ones, but sharing our love anew will help ease some of the pain of our loss.
wonderful hub!
Thanks, LondonGirl!
Very good idea for a hub! We do get attached to the little fur persons don't we?!
I never did replace a favorite dog but it didn't take long before 2 mama cats saw that I was ripe for the plunder and adopted me! grin. It's been fun ever since.
Now when a loved pet passes on I remember the good moments we had, let go easily, and then look forward to the new guys in town joining the household, ordering off the menu and snoozing on what was supposed to be my king-sized bed.
Actually, had a friend who had a childhood family cat that lived for 28 years and it was quite the trauma when that Siamese passed on. 28 years? wow! that was really a special animal.
Denny Lyon- Holy smokes! 28 years old? How old would that be in cat years? I like remembering the good times I had with my pets after they're gone, too. Sometimes letting go can be so hard, though. I'm happy your new adoptive parents (an alternative family, eh?,) are keeping you & your king-sized bed company. Thanks for taking the time to read & comment, I appreciate your input!
I have strong inkling that our pets go over to the other side and wait for us. That's not actually lost, just out of sight. This may mean that the one who loses the pet can have some sort of peace.
Aw, Coast Runner, that is a really sweet sentiment. I love that idea, thanks for taking the time to read and comment, that does give me a sense of comfort. (Though, I wonder when I cross the finish line how many pets I'll be caring for. I know at least 17 goldfish who will be waiting for me.)
This is a lovely treatment of this topic! Thank you! :)
Thanks, justmesuzanne!
Nice hub. There is no right answer to this question. It' s so hard losing a pet. When my dog died, I stayed in bed for days crying. I wasn't sure if I should even think about getting another dog. Eventually I did, and I think it helped. I just needed time to get over it.
Hi Everyone . Ive had dogs and cats all down through the years ,which have had loving a loving home .I was laid off of from work 5 weeks ago , so i decided to get myself a 4 week old kitten . She as such sweet heart.
After having her for this time a saw her grow, be herself and come out of herself. Two night ago while mixing her dinner i stood on her and she died . I am so numb all over .What do i do ?????
megankouz: Aw, I'm so sorry for your loss, but once you start to feel a little better about things I think it does help to get another pet. I hope you and the new pup are getting along well!
neilryan: Wow. I have to say that is the most awful thing I've ever heard. You must feel so terrible. She must have had something physically wrong with her, I know I've stepped on my cats many times, (and dogs,) and none of them have ever died because of it. (I will say though that fear of stepping on / sitting on my pets is the main reason I'll never buy one of those designer "purse pocket" dogs.) I don't even know where to begin, you could try to get another kitten after some time has passed, but if you're still numb the grieving process still hasn't begun. I'd ask you if you were sure that no one else in the house had been abusing her ... or if she'd been abused before you got her from the shelter, but it just seems cruel at this point, the best thing you could do, in my opinion, is to process this and move on by getting what will turn out to be (hopefully) a heartier kitten. Usually pets don't die, (especially cats,) by being stepped on.
my little chihuahua spencer passed away tuesday after 10 years together and all i do is lay around and cry, i haven't eaten in days and its not getting better
joe: Your local shelter / vet may have the number of a support group for you, I'd recommend giving them a call. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I think it can be a good Idea to get a second pet in your existing pet's last years for two reasons. 1 they can keep your older pet company and keep them young. 2 The newer one can help you grieve and understand how you're feeling.
My parents did that, well, their first dog is significantly older, he's not on his last leg or anything, and I agree most of the time. In our case, we have an elderly cat who grew up with his "brother" who passed on a couple years ago. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I know our cat would be PISSED if we brought another cat into our home, but it worked out well for my parents. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read / comment, racemeIs32, I really appreciate it.
I just lost my puppy chiwawa i had him since he was 4 months old and died on Easter Sunday and i miss him terribly how can i move on i have his ashes and a lite candle and rosary i cant even mention his name or see his picture ( face ) with out crying how do i move on
Bonita, so sorry to hear about your loss :( It's really hard when we lose a member of the family, the only way to really move on is to give it time. Is there a professional or someone at your church you can speak with about your feelings?
We recently lost our dog Cody who we had for 15 years I was in year 5 when we got him I am now 24. I will always love him. We have a little chiuwawa she misses him heaps so has always been an outside dog and she has been coming in most days to be with us. I have been looking at the safe websites because I would like to get another dog not to replace Cody but I think our our dog needs company and I have always wanted to give a dog from a shelter a better life. Cody was the best dog ever and I will never forget him I love you Cody xxxxx
Mel: I'm so sorry to hear about your loss :( My parents had a dog for years when my sister and I were younger who was also named Cody. Dogs are really social, and if your little one is missing his buddy it probably would help to get him a new playmate. I'm a huge advocate of shelter dogs, I applaud your decision to get another dog from a shelter, and of course you wouldn't be replacing Cody! You're adding a new member of your family, which will never detract from the family we've lost. Thank-you so much for sharing with us, Mel, good luck with your new family member, I hope he brings you and your family much joy.
Thank you Nicole for your kind words :) We are hopefully going to look at her on the weekend.
Mel: You are really welcome, thank-you for taking the time out to read and comment, sharing a little bit of your lives with all of us. I'm so excited for you guys, I hope she's doing well and you all adjust beautifully to one another. Let us know how it goes!
Hi Nicole, we got our new dog she is beauitful shes an australian cattle dog x bull terrier shes very smart we have alread taught her lots of tricks. She is a bit timid at times as her last owners were evicted from their house and left her behind shes only about 18 months but i think she is a lot younger than that as she is very playful and is biting a bit like a puppy. Shes a little bit clumsy the rspca named her Bumper so we kept her name as that.
We all love her so much see is a bit like our old dog cody her face is very similiar and she does a lot of things he used to do.
Mel: Awesome! I'm so happy for you guys, it sounds like she really is fitting right into the family... Thank-you so much for continuing to fill us all in on your family's progress through this, I know it's been very difficult, losing Cody, and I really appreciate you taking the time to share with us. Sounds like Bumper has found a fantastic "forever home."
I just want to ask you a question Nicole I gave Bumper a marrow bone last night and went out there this morning and forgot to put her bone away and our little dog ran over to it Bumper chased her and nearly jumped on her and snapped a bit she was very protective of it. She could have hurt the little dog, but she let me pick up the bone and put it away. How could i get her to stop this? I might just have to keep the little one away when we feed Bumper why would she be so protective of her food? Thank you Nicole
I've a lot more experience dealing with cats, but yes, animals are extremely protective of their toys and food. Also, Bumper might be trying to establish himself as an alpha dog, I would recommend feeding them separately, trying to keep their toys apart and giving each of them equal amounts of attention. You might have to monitor Bumper closely while he's around your smaller dog.
Thanks Nicole I really don't think she meant to hurt our smaller dog. Bumper and Miley are fine together when they are outside and walk and stuff I've just noticed lately when it comes to food. Mum said maybe when she was in the kennel for so long it was something for her to look forward to or something. Thank you for your help Nicole I will try that. Have a nice day.
Thanks, Mel! Good luck with Bumper and Miley... sounds like you've a lovely family together again!
Hi Nicole we tried what you said and it was heaps better today they have been out together for about 2 hours without us out there. They even got in Bumpers bed together which was very cute!
Mel: Good deal! I'm so happy they're getting on together, it's awesome. Thanks for taking the time out to let us know how they're getting along, I'm very happy for you guys and for Bumper!
There is a jack russel dog who lives next door to us and everytime she sees my dog Bumper she bites her face and attacks her. Bumper is fine and just sits there, but today the next door neighbours brought there dog over and opened our back door and put there dog in the back yard. Bumper and I came around the corner because i was outside hanging washing out and Bumper saw the next door neighbours dog and started to attack her, i did a silly thing and grabbed Bumper of the other dog and put her inside Bumper had blood on her leg. I started to swear at the next door neighbours saying how stupid they were they have done stupid things to Bumper before like pick up there dog and put her on Bumpers back, I really think Bumper was trying to protect our little dog. Can I still trust Bumper? I am in shock now and don't know what to do, Bumper is beauitful she has never ever shown aggression to any dog I love her so much and don't want it to happen again but is it true once a dog does that they will do it again. Please can someone tell me what to do. I don't want Bumper to go back to the pound I love her so much.
I think its the next door neighbours faught for putting their dog in my yard. I wouldn't go over and put Bumper in their yard. They reckon Bumper went for their dog first and their dog did nothing. But their dog is always hurting my dog and ive told them before not to bring their dog over unless they are with her but they opened our door and just put her in. So are they to blame?
Mel: My apologies for not getting back to you sooner, I've been thinking about this and wanted to give you the best answer I knew how to give. First, unless your back yard is a common area which is shared by your neighbors, (which from what you said it doesn't sound like it is,) your neighbors have NO RIGHT to open your gate and place their dog in your back yard. I've never heard of anyone doing something so asinine in my life. It's trespassing, plain and simple.
Where do you go from there? Well, if your neighbors are rational human beings you walk over to their place and in your best, most well-mannered way, you tell them under no circumstances are they ever to place their dog in your backyard. Explain to them that your new dog, Bumper is territorial and protective of your other dog, Bumper does not want their dog in your yard. Period. Tell them if you ever catch their dog in your yard again you will call the authorities and make an official complaint.
If they call the police or animal control first, I want you to explain to the authorities exactly what you said to me. Hell, print it out, if you need to and show them that: A. they placed their dog in your backyard despite the fact that you asked them not to. B. That their dog attacked your dog and that Bumper is territorial and protective of your dog / yard. C. Bumper is an excellent and sweet-tempered dog and that your neighbors have teased her, (by putting their dog on Bumper's back,) before.
This is not how owners of animal's should ever behave, it is extremely rude and irresponsible. I hope this clears some things up for you, Mel, I don't mean to be harsh, but it sounds to me like your neighbors need a lesson in manners and respect.
Hi Nicole,
thank you so much for your advice I really appreaciate it. The neighbours have gone away for 3 weeks now which is good because i need time to cool off. They said it was their fault and they will never bring their dog over again, but they shouldn't have even done it to start with. I am so mad at them. After the fight i noticed Bumper licking her foot I saw blood on it so i wiped it off i thought it was the other dogs blood but yesterday i noticed on bumpers foot a scab mum said that their dog must have bit Bumper first and thats why Bumper flew at her, The neighbours reckon Bumper started it but they would say that to protect their dog they also told all the neighbours in the street that Bumper attacked their dog and it was my dogs fault!! But everyone knows what their dog is like and it is always attacking other dogs. I thought of reporting their dog but then they could turn around and report me so im just going to leave it. I think mum is going to talk to them when they get back and say that their dog is not welcome over here ever again mum was so mad at them and they have been friends for a while now. Thanks again Nicole for your help and advice i really appreaciate it have a nice day. Mel
Mel: I'm happy to hear that they've left to give you a little cooling off time... It's good that they've admitted fault to it, (at least privately, to you,) and you're right, they never should have done it in the first place. At this point, your neighbors who weren't involved in this issue are realizing that your neighbors are lying about Bumper's culpability in the incident, also a good thing. I agree, reporting them now could just escalate the situation, but it sounds like Bumper may have sustained an injury that you can't fully see... it may be a good idea to take Bumper into the vet and explain what happened, to have your dog checked out and make sure there is no infection or something more seriously wrong than "just a cut," dogs can transmit a lot through their saliva to one another.
Otherwise, the best way to deal with this situation... at this point... is just to drop it. As long as they no longer continue to disrespect your wishes and what law and common sense dictate, I'd keep my space, my place and hold your tongue. Hopefully the whole thing will just blow over and you'll have better neighbors because of your reaction.
On June 17th of this year I lost my precious angel Princess Bling Bling. (we called her bling for short)Bling was a Pomerainian/Chihuahua (Pom-Chi. We would let her out to go potty and she would go and explore, go potty and then come back. Well my little sister let her out at 12:00 pm and 10 minutes later I went out and started calling her name.Well she didn't come so I went and searched the house. She was no where to be found. I told my Mom and we both looked again and then called her name. We ended up staying up until 2:00 am. We went to sleep. In the morning we were going into town and my Mom saw her on the side of the road, dead. We were both bawling. My step dad went and got her and then put her in a black bag and we buried her. She was 6 years old and she was my valentines gift from my Mommy. I loved her so much. At first I was so shocked that I denied her death. After that I was so vulnerable because I was crying all the time. Now I am still very sad but I am trying to get over it. It is SUPER hard because as soon as I think I'm happy someone (trying to be nice) brings it up again. I just answer respectfully and say "yes i loved her alot. She is in a better place and we will miss her alot." We are looking at getting two new baby chihuahuas. I have been praying to God for strength and guidance to lead me on a positive road to recovery.
Chelsea: I'm so sorry for your loss, in more time perhaps others will stop bringing it up and it will become easier for you to heal without the constant reminder of ones who mean well. That's an awful way to lose a pet... my first dog was killed in a similar way, (she was hit by a car,) and I went through much of what you're going through... it's so sudden, it's incredibly difficult to wrap your mind around what has happened, your reactions are very normal and I commend your level of maturity in how you've handled the feelings of others & yourself during all this.
Two new puppies will certainly keep your mind and hands occupied, I wish you luck on your road to recovery, thank-you so much for taking the time to read and comment, I really appreciate it, Chelsea.
This is good information and advice for pet owners and their families.
Research Analyst: Thank-you for taking the time out to read and comment, I really appreciate it!
Hi nicole,
things have been going great with Bumper lately ever since that fight Milly and Bumper are getting along so well they have become a duo. Bumper is still a little bit rough at times when she is playing with Milly but things are going great.
Hey, Mel, fantastic to hear from you! I was just wondering how your family was doing... no more problems with the neighbors? Happy to hear that your pups are getting along so well!
A few times they have come around to talk to mum and have their dog without a lead on and mum said not to do it again but other than that good. I still dont talk to them as much as i did still very mad at them might take a while to forgive them. Yeah its great they are getting along so well have a good day :)
Thanks for the update, Mel, I'm happy to hear things have reached an equilibrium with the neighbors!
Hi Nicole how are you?
I was wondering if you or anyone could help me please? You know how I explained how Bumper and the next door neighbours dog got into that fight, Bumper now has started to try to jump the fence. Their dog stands on the garden bed and barks so Bumper tries to jump over. my sister caught her half way over the other day. When we catch her we growl and put her on the chain. We have put things around the fence to stop her. I am scared if she gets over its a massive drop and she would break her legs or worse if she got over. I don't want to send her back to the RSPCA its not her fault she has started this I really blame them for this now when Bumper sees dogs she barks at them and jumps up she has never done this before i really hate the neighbours for this mum gets mad when i say its their fault but she blames bumper i am scared she will send bumper back to the RSPCA is there anyone who could please help me, we are going to try to put up some fencing but she probably will just knock it down,
What can i do? Thanks Melissa
Melissa: You guys need to get some better fencing up, pronto! I don't understand how Bumper is almost jumping the fence, but the other dog isn't? Until you guys get the fencing situation squared away, I'd just chain Bumper... you're right, Bumper could get seriously hurt trying to hurdle the fence. It's up to you guys to socialize Bumper, meaning that when Bumper barks or jumps / snaps at other dogs you must firmly say no and remove Bumper from the situation. Maybe Bumper after awhile of this treatment will equate barking / jumping at other dogs with being put into a "doggy time-out." Any way, you cannot put up fencing that Bumper will simply knock over, unless you want to keep Bumper chained in the back yard, otherwise Bumper will get loose and get into trouble.
Hi Nicole,
Thanks for replying. Our fencing is high Bumper can just jump high, the next door neighbours is only a jack russel we have caught bumper a few times trying to jump the fence and have put her straight on the chain, she hasn't done it since!! have started taking Bumper to obedience school too which is helping heaps she gets along great with the other dogs even if they bark at her- a staffy cross pup followed us home the other day and he nearly got hit by a car so we took him home to look after all night they were chasing each other around the yard having a great time bumper and the other dog got on great! Thanks for your help enjoy the rest of your weekend off to obedience school tomorrow for us!
Mel: I approve, you're showing Bumper who is boss when you discipline her, (lovingly, of course,) by putting her on the chain when she attempts to jump the fence. I apologize for not responding sooner, but I'm happy to here that you've decided to take Bumper to obedience school! How is it going for her? My one word of advice would be that you cannot keep her unsupervised in the back yard without chaining her, first, ever, because she might try to jump the fence when you weren't around.
thats ok thanks for replying Bumper doesn't go near the fence now we have put a clothes airer in the corner to block it off shes going great at dog school doing great and getting along great with the other dogs even the really big German Sheppards.
Hope your having a great weekend and thanks again for all your help and advice I really appreciate it.
Mel: Thank-you so much! I'm happy to hear that Bumper is doing so well at training school, especially with other, larger dogs! Best of luck to you and yours as you continue training Bumper how to be the best doggy in town! The clothes dryer up against the fence is brilliant, way to go, guys!
We lost our beloved Elwood week before last. He was only 1 year and 7 months old. It was a horrible and tragic accident. He somehow got a hold of a chopstick and must have been playing with it hard. Somehow it went through his mouth and into his brain. His brother Jake was sitting by his side until my poor husband came home and found him (I was out of town for a business meeting). We are just crushed. We loved him so much. The vet assures us that Elwood's death was instant - no doubt about it. Jake is a very social animal and we think we should get him a playmate. I wish they could talk to us and tell us ....
Stephanie: Oh, I am so sorry to hear about your loss, that is crazy/terrible! Poor Jake, he must miss his brother terribly. One thing that I think of right off the bat is that perhaps you all need a little more time, (Jake included,) to process Elwood's death. He was *so* young, truly tragic, you guys didn't expect to have to go through this so early in their lives. Until then, is there a shelter or a pet store near ya'all where you can take Jake in, (with their permission,) and see how he reacts to other dogs, or more specifically, you and the husband handling other dogs? There's a possibility that despite the fact that he misses his brother he wouldn't get along yet with other dogs or react well to seeing you play / pet other dogs. How about you and the husband? Do you guys really think you're emotionally ready for a new dog? Again, I'm sorry, just want you guys to really think about this given how little time has passed, my heart goes out to you. Thank-you for taking the time out to share and comment, I hope you come back again and let us know how you're doing.
sorry I wasn't clear. Elwood and Jake are kittens (litter mates) not dogs. We are definitely not ready yet. We all need some time. we just know that in time we need to find a new furry family member to keep Jake and us company. there are so many out there that need a good home. We got them at the Heartland Animal Shelter north of Chicago and will go back there in time. its especially hard - our last cat lived to be 21 - we just thought that we all had so much more time together.
Stephanie: Aw, I'm sorry, I don't know why I assumed they were puppies. Twenty-one is an incredible age for a cat to live to, I can understand why that would make losing Elwood that much harder. :( Thank-you so much for coming by and commenting, I appreciate it. You're right, there are *so* many animals out there that need a loving home. I commend your family in going to Heartland, it's a wonderful Animal Shelter and the work they do there is fantastic. The best thing you guys can do for Jake right now, while you're all healing is show him loads of affection and attention, it will be very hard on him, losing Elwood, his last link to mom, brothers and sisters :( Thank-you and good luck, guys.
Hi Nicole. I lost my beautiful cat Billy who was only 16 months old to a hit and run driver. This only happened on Monday this week outside my house. I am absolutely distraught and spend the whole of Monday crying and unable to stop. The pain has got a little easier but I miss him so much. The house is empty without him. I am today thinking about getting another kitten, which is how I've come across you sight. Do you think its too soon? I will never be able to replace Billy, he was such a lively cat full of life. But I live on my own and am feeling very lonely. My family live in the UK and I live in Ireland so they are not around. My friends have rallied around to help and support me but on a day to day basis I'm pretty much on my own. And having a little heartbeat in the house easied my loneliness. I look forward to hearing your advice. Thank you.
Shan: Aw, I'm so sorry! It's so hard to lose them that young, I apologize for taking so long to get back to you, I've had family in town. If you feel an emptiness in your home and heart it isn't too soon to get a new kitten. It sounds like a lot of your support system is missing where you're at, so my recommendation would be to go down to the local shelter and adopt a new furry friend. You seem like you are being pretty honest with yourself, admitting that you'll never replace Billy, but that there's a lack in your home without a companion like him. It's been less than a couple of weeks, but I fully endorse you getting another kitten, s/he will keep you on your toes and give you a sense of family at home. I'm so sorry for your loss, Billy sounds like he was a great cat that was lost too soon. Thank-you for stopping by and taking the time out to read and comment, I really appreciate it. Please come back and tell us how you're doing, I'd love to hear from you again. Again, I apologize for taking so long to respond, good luck!
Hi Nicole. Thank you so much for getting back to me. No need for apologies in the delay in replying. And thank you too for your kind words and support. I have already started to do a bit of research and have been looking at the local animal rescue shelters and there are plenty of kittens available for adoption. I still miss Billy very much and sometimes cant imagine that I wont be seeing him again. Forever is a very difficult concept to get your head around. I find myself still talking to him and hearing him even though I know he is not here anymore. I've had cats before in my life but Billy has made the biggest impact. He was truly a unique cat. I think it was because he was my little support system all by himself and I didnt realise it until he was gone. Anyway, I will let you know when I get my new kitten and how I'm getting on. Thank you once again for you kindness.
Shan: I've been thinking about you! Unfortunately, I had a bout with the stomach flu yesterday which kept me from doing anything other than crying, whining and less mentionable things, but... You are obviously doing your research in this and for that I am proud of you. Which led me to another idea... I'm not sure what your schedule is like, but would you be able to volunteer for any of these shelters? I think it would vastly enrich your life right now and you might even be able to foster some, as well. I realize this might not be something you're able to do, time permitting, but I would love for you to consider it.
Hi Nicole. Sorry to hear that you have been poorly. I hope you are feeling better and recovering from your stomach flu. Thank you for that suggestion about volunteering for the animal shelters. It is definitely something I would like to do. I am on contract work at the moment which is shortly to come to an end. I have been thinking what I could do with my time until I gain employment again. And working at a local animal shelter might just be the tonic that I need. I wouldn't be very good at fostering as I would become too attached to the kittens/cats and find it very difficult to give them away. When I adopt another kitten it will be for a long time I hope. Thank you once again for your kindness and support.
Shan: I'm so happy you checked back in! Thank-you for your wishes of wellness, I feel much improved, but now the little one has the stomach flu! Poor baby. Anyways, though... I'm totally thrilled that you're considering volunteering at a shelter, it's so awesome! Perhaps after awhile, you'll adopt a new furry friend and could consider fostering, then. It might be easier when you've your own little guy or girl at home and know that you won't be left alone at the end of the month. However, fostering certainly isn't for everyone! If you could donate some of your time, (or even items, once you are in a secure financial position, again,) that would be so fantastic, I really think it'd open things up for you. Thank-you for returning and letting us know how you're doing! If you can, many happy returns, let us know how you're doing!
My Husky died a year ago my dauter was so unhappy she was in fifth grade when it happened! :^(
Nikkirose1: Aw, guys... I know how hard it can be when you've lost a member of your family. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, hopefully as your daughter matures the pain will lessen.
My cat whiskar died a week and a half ago. She was 19 and a half. She was older than me! I can't remember a day of my life without her there. She was like a sister to me ( one that never got on my bad side :) ) I feel so empty. She was fine when I left on Saturday to sleep over at a friends. Then on Sunday I had to say good bye and mum took her to get put down cause she wasn't breathing normal and hadn't eaten in days. I just don't know what to do. I want a new cat but mum says no. I just want the cat to be able to cuddle and love. I can't replace Whiskar because no cat can take her spot. But I would love a cat to fill the gap.
I want a cat to love and look after. Though I know my cat had a fantastic life. She only went to the vet once in her 19 years. She wasnt eating because she had a tooth ache. But also she would have been put down if we hadn't have got her and she probably wouldn't have lived as long if she was with another. I do want another cat to be like her though. Happy, healthy and loving oh and soft cute and cuddly but it can never be the same as my first pet
These past three years have been extremely hard for my husband and myself. We started off with a large family of pets. One dog, seven cats and one fish. Three years ago my husbands best friend and brother committed suicide and then I was diagnosed with liver disease. Since then we have lost all our pets with fishman being the last to pass on not more than an hour ago. We are so devastated to lose so much in such a short time. My husband is now in deep mourning and I wish there was something I could do for him, he feels he has nothing left and with my own health being as poor as it is, he is really hurting. I thought about getting another pet right away to try ease the pain but I don't think he will be ready for some time. I myself loved them all and will always miss them. I really don't know what to do.
Meow: Chances are your mom may be suffering through the loss of Whiskar, too, maybe if you just give her some time she'll come around on getting a new kitten. New kittens are a lot of work, too, which might be something your mom isn't quite ready for yet. Perhaps you could talk her into going to the shelter with you, or taking a look around the neighborhood for abandoned cats? If she sees a kitty in need she may be more willing to open up her home again. I'm very sorry for your loss, good luck with your mom, you're right, it won't be the same as with your first pet, but it will be awesome! Thanks for taking the time out to read and comment, I really appreciate it.
Cindy: Wow, guys, you've really had a rough ride these last three years, I'm so sorry to hear of your losses, I know you and your husband are really hurting right now.
I appreciate you taking the time out to read and comment, I too, am at a loss for words, I know you're wanting another pet to help fill the losses you've endured over the last three years, but...
With your health being what it is, Cindy, and your husband not being %100 on board, I'm not sure that is the best move for you guys right now. Financially, emotionally, you both are on a roller coaster without the fun highs and lows, a pet right now might just make things all that much more unbearable.
Talk it over with your husband, visit some local shelters, consider volunteering your time or possibly doing some community service at the local shelter. If finances aren't too terribly tight maybe you guys could foster?
I hope some of this helps :( Sorry I couldn't be more helpful, but I hope you come back and tell us how you're doing, thank-you, so much, for taking the time out to read and comment. I really appreciate it.
hello.
i had a puppy chihuahua a couple of months ago, her name was lily. on tuesday morning i was about to take the washing outside and didn,t realise she was there until it was too late. i trod on her. she looked at me in disbelief because she couldn,t believe what i had done' she ran over to the fence and i ran over to her. i picked her up and there was blood coming from her mouth. i ran inside with her to get my car keys to get her to the vets. as i ran into the living room she died right there in my arms. i never got chance to tell her i was sorry. and now i can,t forgive myself, because died knowing i had killed her. i have cried ever since it happened. everytime i close my eyes i see her looking at me when it happened. she was beautiful and i loved her so much. i want to tell i,m sorry but i can,t and its killing me inside.
what can i do? can anyone help me?
lilypup: I am so sorry it has taken me this long to get back to you, believe me, you've been in my thoughts. I'm not sure what kind of support system you've at home, but this is obviously incredibly painful for you, the best thing I think you can do is find some people you can talk it out with and realize it is *not* your fault that puppy Lily is gone. Yes, you stepped on her, but she got underfoot, which happens. There was probably an underlying, unknown medical condition that caused her to pass so quickly after you stepped on her, most dogs can take being tripped over. I'm so sorry for your loss, my thoughts and prayers are with you. Find a clergy member, a friend, a family member, and take time out to talk this through. My apologies, I appreciate you taking the time to come by, to read, and to share your story, I wish I would have gotten back to you sooner.
hello,
i have three young children, our much loved puppy biff has died he would have been two yrs tomorrow. he went missing last night and i searched the yard but he was no where, he had escaped the yard before and we blocked it all up. i thought he must have jumped the fence and went for a run, he was a rescue pup and very much loved by my children, i found him laying in the backyard just looked like he was asleep he was just laying there i called him and he didnt move so i knew then but the problem is i dont know what has happened for him to just lay down and pass on, would there have been spew if he had been poisened? i had to tell the kids this morning about biff and they where upset but want a new dog but im not sure if its a good idea when he has only just died but they where very attached to him as was i. im not sure if i should make them wait as he was apart of the family and is missed so much.
ash: Oh, how awful, my heart goes out to you & your little ones! I would call the rescue and let them know he's passed on, perhaps they know something about his medical history that could shed light on this. I have no idea what Biff's reaction would be to poison, but that sounds super-extreme to me, were you having problems with some neighbors? I think if you take him into the vet they may be able to determine what happened. So sorry to hear for your loss, he was so young :( It sounds to me like you might need to wait a little while, yet before getting the new dog. A new dog would certainly help the kids get their mind off of Biff, but everybody needs to process the loss, everyone heals at a different pace. Until then, perhaps the kids have different friends with young dogs they can visit? I think you need to find out what happened to Biff so you can *really* process it.
Hello.
I was just reading all these posts due to losing my cat of 22yrs just over a month ago. She suddenly went downhill and I knew I couldn't hold on to her. It was so difficult and is still difficult. When I'm home now, I'm alone, so it's very lonely. I am trying to decide if I'm ready yet for another kitty. I feel like I will never have another like the one I had. Although I would love to share my life and have new experiences with a new kitty. I have never been without an animal and the past 7 years was just me and her. Any advice?
Terry: First, let me tell you how sorry I am for your loss. 22 years is an incredible life-span for a cat, I am positive that you took phenomenal care of her, she wouldn't have lasted that long if you didn't, you must be feeling her absence in a terribly profound way. You're right, you will never have another kitty like her, she was unique and holds a special place in your heart. While she'll always be your special lady, another cat will bring you new joys and be a fantastic companion to help ease you through the pain of your loss. Usually I tell people to wait before getting a new pet, (the feeling of "replacing" your cat who has passed can bring a great deal of frustration and failed expectations,)and after just a month of mourning, I'm not entirely sure you're quite ready yet. However, you've spent most your life with an animal companion, so my advice is to go to your local "no-kill" shelter. Despite the draw and urges to pick out a baby kitten, please consider getting a more mature cat... I think that you would get on better with a cat that is already set in its ways, it will make the differences between your lost friend & your new companion easier to cope with. Loneliness can be very bitter, I'm sorry for your loss and hope that you will consider adopting a mature cat, s/he will bring you a great deal of happiness.
You know better than to say the alternative to a shelter is a pet store! It's obviously a breeder; breeders and shelters are both good and we shouldn't guilt people out of the decision that's right for them as individuals and families. There are different reasons that could go into getting a new puppy from a breeder. (Wanting a PUPPY Bichon, could be one. Some breeds are harder to find in shelters, and there's not a lot wrong with desiring a puppy for that bond, like you said. Also, there's not a lot wrong with wanting a dog without baggage and there's NOTHING wrong with wanting a dog to live with us longer.)
Elle: You know... I want, personally a Shih Tzu, so badly. I'm pretty much allergic to everything under the sun, so a hypo-allergenic dog that isn't so small I'd be worried for it's safety incessantly, a breed that I've personally seen as being easy to get along with sounds really fantastic. The $900 (on the lower end of the spectrum,) price tag ... not so much. I agree completely with you, there are times / situations when buying from a pet store or breeder might be more beneficial for a family. I recently saw a lot of letters going around on Facebook about how good purebred dogs (not that any dog should be euthanized,) are being put to sleep frequently at shelters.
It's a very personal decision... just like deciding if you should have your pet spayed or neutered. I don't know better not to say this: you *should* get your pet spayed or neutered and you should get your animal at a shelter. There's just two many pets that need homes out there for me to justify not doing so.
People have to do what is best for them, though, Elle, sorry if I offended you.
patspnn 3 years ago
I lost a 10 week old puppy and it took me months to get over